How much time do you spend trying to be the kind of woman you think men want?
If you're like most women, it's a LOT. You spend all this time making yourself look sexy and attractive.
All this time presenting yourself as fun, interesting, worldly, and not needy in the slightest.
You spend all this time showing him just how good you'd be for him... How amazing his future would be if he chose you as the woman by his side...
And it doesn't work. It never works. WHY? Why do you work so hard...
And the guy in your life just takes you for granted, if he even notices you at all?
It's probably because he's immature, right?
He can't recognize a good thing until it's gone. Or maybe... It's because you've been doing all the work for him.
If He Doesn't Work for Your Relationship, He Won't Value It
What men value most are those things they have to work hard to get.
Hand a man a college diploma, and he won't value it as much as if he'd had to put in years of study and effort to earn it.
Hand a man the perfect girlfriend, and he won't value her as much as if he'd had to woo her for weeks just to get her to go out with him.
This is why playing hard to get works.
But, as you've probably already noticed...
There's a BIG problem with playing hard to get. That strategy stops working once he's actually got you.
Something happens when guys decide they've won you. It's almost like they think, "Game over."
Their minds are already on their next challenge. What is going on?!
And how can you stop it from wrecking your relationship?
It's Not Just You—ALL Women Experience This (That's Why They Ask for Help)
Many women give up on love. They never let themselves get too close to a man, for fear of scaring him off.
But other women try a different approach. They get help.
Relationship coach James Bauer is one of the people they turn to.
He noticed that many clients were coming to him, complaining about guys who were blowing hot and cold.
Everything would be going great, and then it was like...
Something would change overnight.
A guy who'd been warm, affectionate and interested would suddenly become distant.
He'd no longer have any time for her.
He wouldn't smile in greeting. He'd stop making eye contact. His kisses were brusque.
Wanting to help his clients, James investigated.
And what he discovered made sense of everything. He knew why these men were backing away. He knew what they needed ... and what they weren't getting.
It didn't come down to anything wrong with these women.
Rather, it all came down to something he called "The Hero Instinct."
Unleash His Hero Instinct
One of the most wonderful things about women is how naturally caring they are.
Look at you. You're always there for your guy. You look after him. You always make time for him. You'd do anything for him.
You never realize that, in the process...
You're actually taking something away from him. You're taking away his purpose.
You see, he wants to be your hero. He doesn't want you to be his hero.
Men love heroes. Look at how many grown men are still fascinated by Marvel comics and superhero movies.
Every man on Earth, from the time he was a boy, dreamed of growing up to be the kind of hero who would save the world—and get the girl at the same time.
Most men don't get to indulge their world-saving side in their 9-5 jobs.
Give Him A Worthy Challenge
Circumstances don't call for them to rip off their corporate ties and spring into action, revealing their superman side. Maybe they can't save the world. But they can still get the girl.
Getting the girl is a worthy challenge for an ordinary guy with the heart of a superhero. It takes superhuman confidence. Superhuman charm. Superhuman immunity to pain. Now, all he needs to find is...
A girl who needs a hero. Do You Need a Hero? Let me guess... That's not you.
You're strong. You're independent.
You can fix a leaky faucet. You can drive a stick shift. You can take care of yourself.
You're never going to make that Jerry Maguire mistake of looking for a man to complete you.
Instead, you have a lot to offer a man. You're generous. Kind. Loving. Giving to a fault. All you want is to find a man who's willing to receive all you have to give.
And that's why heroes aren't showing up in your life. That's why you've ended up with so many takers instead.
Guys who take everything you have and leave you high and dry. If you want a hero, then you need to advertise for one. Here's how.
3 Ways You Can Invite a Hero into Your Life, Starting Today
1. Ask a guy for help.
Ask him for advice on buying a new computer. Ask him to listen to that weird rattling sound that's started up in your car. Ask him to reach something on the top shelf.
Then thank him warmly, with a great big smile of appreciation.
No, that doesn't make you needy. It makes you a woman with space for a man in her life.
2. Take pleasure in male company.
Guys love women who appreciate men for just being men.
So what if his apartment is a shrine to sports? So what if he spends hours on his fantasy football team? So what if his idea of a clean shirt is the one with the fewest wrinkles?
He's a guy. It's okay. You don't need him to be more like you, because you've got the feminine side of the gender equation covered.
3. Let him earn your respect.
Superheroes love challenges. They don't want to be given a gold medal just for showing up. They don't want your love handed to them on a plate. They want to earn it.
There's one thing they crave even more than a woman's eternal enduring love: A challenge.
So give him opportunities to prove himself. You don't have to do the work of winning him over.
Sit back, relax, and allow him the pleasure of winning your admiration.
Alison Wood Brooks, Francesca Gino, Maurice E. Schweitzer. “Smart People Ask for (My) Advice: Seeking Advice Boosts Perceptions of Competence.” Management Science (2015): Vol. 61, No. 6
Harry's Masculinity Report 2018 https://s3.amazonaws.com/harrys-cdnx-prod/manual/
Joan F. Goodman (2009) Respect-due and respect-earned: negotiating student–teacher relationships, Ethics and Education, 4:1, 3-17, DOI: 10.1080/17449640902781356
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